It’s May???

How the heck did May get here already? I’m not usually one to be surprised at the passage of time…but May snuck up on me. That means we’re almost to summer…which I am in NO WAY prepared for.

The last weekend of April flew by. I did a kid-free hike with my friend L on Saturday. We hiked about 3 miles and did a lot of talking. It was lovely to spend some time with another mom/woman who “gets” me.

Sunday was our traditional Farmer’s Market run. Tomatoes, oranges, kale, croissants (for Cadet), pickles (for McRuger), and even some early apricots. Then came home for lots of doing nothing…and we needed that.

Then, Sunday night…Pumpkin basically didn’t sleep much at all. He’s teething so hard, and even giving him a dose of ibuprofen didn’t do much to help. Adding to the fun was the fact that (after several nights of awesome sleep), I basically tossed and turned until 2am. So, I woke up in a rather foul place. Cadet, had several nightmares, and slept poorly as well.

As you can imagine…today (Monday) was not exactly fun for us. Lots of tantrums. Lots of fussing. Lots of me wanting to just have peace and quiet for 2 minutes (which didn’t happen). Dinner, I kid you not, was some leftovers quickly heated…and some kale/raspberry smoothies. I was not proud of the mother I was today. But, tomorrow is a new day, right?

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Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too
.

 

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Categories: Cadet, Family, Pumpkin | Leave a comment

Don’t really have a title…

It’s been a long (almost) 3 weeks here. Nothing horrible has happened or even particularly time-consuming…just lots of details and small things have taken up my time. I’ve started several posts, only to abandon them…since I couldn’t find time to finish them. I have over 300 posts in my “draft” folder…hahahahaha. Clearly, I have a problem with not finishing posts.

Molly, McRuger’s sister was here for a 6-day visit with her daughter. I’m not lying when I tell you it was a very stressful few days. Thankfully, she was staying with other family in the area, but she was only there at night. My niece, at 3, is one of the whiniest children I have ever met. The kid whined constantly, something which gets on my nerves. Plus, she doesn’t like to be touched, have other people within 2 feet of her, or being outside…so that was a huge challenge for my in-your-face-let’s-hug-or-go-outside boys.

On the plus side, it made me appreciate the parenting that McRuger and I do…our kids aren’t very terribly whiney, they are generally friendly, they like meeting new people, and they like to move their bodies (which I really like about both of them). I also really took to heart how amazing my kids are. When we took Molly/and daughter to the local kid’s amusement park…just watching Cadet interact with other kids and us was so uplifting…plus he wanted to ride on the roller coaster with me a few times (which always thrills me).

Cadet and I have been back on the homeschooling train. It’s been a fascinating time in that regard. DrM and I have been seriously talking about what Cadet’s issues actually are. Yes, he has SPD (and is a seeker), but generally speaking, his more extreme tendencies are under control on a daily basis. But, there’s something else going on. At various times we’ve thrown out ideas…tested them…and moved on… It’s not his eyesight, it’s not motor planning issues, it’s not lack of cognitive function (he’s incredibly bright),  and we’re pretty sure it’s not even visual memory at this point. Our current theory is that he’s suffering from anxiety. And when he says “I can’t do that”, what he’s actually saying is “I’m scared to fail”. It’s emotional, rather than physical or cognitive. Cadet has been experiencing “big emotions” these past few weeks. Lots of highs and lows. So, we’ve all been talking quite a bit about how to handle our emotions in productive (rather than destructive) ways. Both McRuger and I have been talking a lot how best to help Cadet understand these feelings… and how it relates to his learning.

As for Pumpkin, well, he’s 18 months old and is never still…except when asleep. He wants to do everything that Cadet does…even if he really shouldn’t. Pumpkin spends most of his days just trying to get into everything…and “explore” it (in reality, he just wants to tear everything apart). Every cabinet is locked down and every door has an anti-Pumpkin lock on it…but even so, he manages to create an insane amount of messes in the hours that he’s awake. He’s using several words: Cadet’s name, name of Cadet’s best buddy, dada, dog, car (he says “GO”), stop, uh-oh, and night-night. As for his receptive language (what he understands)…he’s off the charts. I’ve “tested” him a few times, using some of the old tests that Cadet took…and Pumpkin is way ahead in this area. He loves to color, play with trains, “cook” in his kitchen, and run after Cadet. His fine motor skills are ahead of Cadet in some ways. He’s been working on some teeth and it’s hard to watch him be so grumpy…because it makes him…well…a bit of a challenge to occupy or distract.

McRuger is coming up to his busy time of year, which is always challenging. He’s stressed, has tons on his plate, and is generally exhausted at the end of the day. From now until the end of July, things just keep getting more intense. Then he has a small “break” in the deluge, and it starts up again in September/October. So, I’m trying to find ways of keeping family stress off his plate…but it’s hard because I also need breaks and a good deal of rest still.

How am I doing? Not too bad. I’ve been really struggling with sleep recently, which wears me down. I end the day feeling so exhausted and out of spirit. So, I’ve been really working on not feeling guilty about taking breaks during the day for myself (blogging, reading, chatting with a friend, or just getting a warm meal). It’s been hard to keep my calm some days because of the extremes in emotions that Cadet is going through…and Pumpkin’s grumpiness. But, I’m doing my best.

But, overall, things aren’t too bad. The weather has been amazing, allowing for plenty of outside time with the boys. We’ve done some amazing hikes with some friends. And, last week, we did a family-group hike, which was a ton of fun. Pumpkin, now that he’s very mobile, is really enjoying the outside…I just have to keep a eagle-eye on him so he doesn’t put any slugs into his mouth or try to roll in a bush of poisonous plants!

So, what have you been up to? Are you enjoying spring yet?

 

Categories: Adoption, Anxiety/Worry, Cadet, Family, Homeschool, Household, Pumpkin | 2 Comments

When it don’t come easy…

–I don’t know nothing except change will come
Year after year what we do is undone
Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home

You’re out there walking down a highway
And all of the signs got blown away
Sometimes you wonder if you’re walking in the wrong direction
But if you break down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy

So many things that I had before
That don’t matter to me now
Tonight I cry for the love that I’ve lost
And the love I’ve never found
When the last bird falls
And the last siren sounds
Someone will say what’s been said before
Some love we were looking for–

When it Don’t Come Easy by Patty Griffin

 

There are some days that just aren’t easy. Days when getting out of bed seems like the most horrible idea ever invented. Days when losing my patience is always just simmering under the surface. Days when leaving the house, for anything other than a crisis, is just not going to happen.

Today was one of those days. Both boys were up at 5:30am…rearing to go. Cadet was grumpy from the get-go…begging to go outside (in the half-dark) to play in his water table and with his “booster rockets” (his spray bottle that “propels” him backwards). Pumpkin wasn’t grumpy, but he was stubborn (a more common occurrence these days). He wanted things his way…and anything less was a terrible assult to his personhood.

To make this day really “special”, I also got a nosebleed mid afternoon. It’s my first since my admittance to the hospital (4 months and 1 day ago…for those keeping score). I know it’s because the weather has been nutty and my sinuses have been acting up (with lots of nose blowing and dripping). My nosebleed clotted in a normal time frame (something I have to watch for these days), and hasn’t bled since…but it freaked me out. I spent the rest of the day worried about having a AIH flare (which, of course, I’m not).

Normally, two kids up at 5:30 would have been an annoyance…but today it was a downright nightmare. Because, for the last two nights, I have battling against some serious insomnia. I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep. So, for the last two nights, I’ve been averaging about 4.5-5 hours of sleep. Because of my liver, I can’t just pop a pill like I would have done in the old days…now I’m limited to warm milk, cool room, lavender, and patience. I’d kill for an Advil.PM or one of my anti-anxiety meds right about now. But, no…I just have to tough it out.

So, why can’t I sleep? Honestly, there’s just a lot going through my brain these days.

*My father’s health is part of it, I think. He’s been sick, pretty much non-stop, since January…culminating in (most recently) double pneumonia and possible pertussis. He’s also fought off a kidney stone and is currently dealing with some heart issues…which have not been fully explained to me yet.

*Another reason I can’t sleep is I’m really struggling to understand how I can be my best self as a parent, especially now as self-care is so important to my health. How do I slow down for me…but keep pace with two very active boys? We’ve discussed putting Cadet in school, but it just doesn’t feel right. Most weeks we have 2 to 3 “big” outings to parks or the ocean or a hike or a big-ish bike ride. Cadet loves these and is learning so much. So, it’s hard to think about putting him in a school program where he wouldn’t be out and about. And, if I’m being honest, Cadet is really thriving right now. He has a few little buddies he plays with, his vocabulary and understanding are growing exponentially, and he’s happy (most of the time).

* And, on top of it, there are some money concerns that McRuger and I are dealing with. We’ve really been looking at our budget and there are some red-flags in terms of how well we should be doing….and how we are actually doing. Our rent has increased this year by several hundred dollars, which isn’t helping anything. Having a second kid isn’t helpful either. Now, we’re not in a hole or anything….and we’re basically debt-free (except my car and a piddly amount left of my student loans), but we’re just not saving as much as we should be. Oh, and I forgot, my diet requires us to spend more $$ on things we rarely did before: free-range, organic meat, being the big expenditure each week. So, fun times with money….

*Oh, and the cherry on top…McRuger is stressed…and that’s rough on the family. Part of it is work, part of it is some health stuff he’s dealing with, and part of it is just the slow transition back to home (after his trip to the Midwest). But, when McRuger is stressed about anything, it really impacts our whole life.

So, now, I’m going to try to sleep. Thank you for letting me vent…it’s just been one of those days! How are your days going?

Categories: Family | 7 Comments

Theme Songs…

I’m a big believer in having a theme song…even if it’s for an hour or a day or for life. A song that just really speaks to where you are in a moment…or longer.

Since the boys were young, there have been songs which have spoken to where they are. Sometimes it’s been a reaction to a certain piece of music….others lyrics have expressed a challenge or joy they have gone through.

My theme song, for the longest time has been: Matadjem Yinmixan by Tinariwen. It’s a beautiful song (although the lyrics are not really happy ones) that never fails to get me out of a bad mood…and set me on the right path. When I was in the hospital, I would walk up and down the halls (or outside when allowed)…allowing the song to lift me up. If that fails, I can always turn to When You’re Falling by AfroCelt Sound System or The Blood of Cu Chulainn by Jeff Danna.

Cadet’s song has been Hall of Fame by The Script for the last year or so. He loves it, he sings along. And he identifies with some of the imagery. MsJ and I have shared how much this song is something that Cadet just “gets”. He also loves The Safety Dance by Men Without Hats and Mean by Taylor Swift. While Cadet loves music, he often gets overwhelmed by it these days. And these three songs, for whatever reason, don’t overwhelm him.

Pumpkin’s song has been a little harder to nail down. The first song he really reacted to was Trip the Light by Garry Schyman. But recently, his favorite song is (and I hate to admit this) is Ugly Heart by G.R.L (McRuger introduced him to the song). In reality, Pumpkin loves any music…and will stop whatever he’s doing to do a little dance.

McRuger doesn’t really have a theme song, although he does have the musical taste of a 13-year old girl…so a lot of teeny-bop music.

So, do you have a theme song?

Categories: Family | 5 Comments

Not quite alone…

For the last week, Pumpkin and I have been on our own. McRuger and Cadet flew to the Midwest to spend Easter with McRuger’s family. This plan was originally conceived because we had canceled on McRuger’s family for Thanksgiving and Christmas…and MIL has been wanting to have her family together for a holiday. Due to my liver issues (and limited diet), traveling for me wasn’t going to happen (McRuger and I didn’t feel quite comfortable with me being so far away from my doctors). And, I didn’t want to send McRuger out there with both boys (chaos!). So, we decided that McRuger would take Cadet (who loves planes and generally travels well) and I would stay with Pumpkin.

It’s been a mixed bag for both of us, but overall, I think positive.

I’ve enjoyed having some one-on-one time with Pumpkin. He’s such an interesting little person. So charming and stubborn and serious and complex. We’ve been spending a lot of time just exploring toys, books, the house, and the neighborhood. He likes to be out and about, seeing people and doing new things. Even though he doesn’t have a ton of “real words” yet, he communicates insanely well. And his understanding of what I’m asking or telling him is quite advanced. He just knows what’s going on.

And, it’s been nice to get a few projects done. First up was Cadet’s “big boy” bed. He now has a twin sized bed set up in his room. It’s insanely comfortable and I think it will solve a few problems. Second, was oiling/polishing all of Cadet’s wooden railroad tracks. Yes, that sounds insane, but it’s really good for the wood and encourages the pieces to slide together easily (making for easier play). Plus, it helps prevent the wood from splintering or chipping. And, of course, the constant war against dishes and laundry…I’m losing that battle…but winning the war (I hope).

The BIG issue I’ve been working to solve is to get Pumpkin in a better sleep/eating schedule. And I’ve done that. He goes to bed between 6-7pm, depending on how busy the day was), up at 11-12 for a final bottle, and then he sleeps until 6-7 in the morning. Trust me, it’s WAYYYY better than the schedule that McRuger had him on. And, yes, he still takes a bottle three times a day. Pumpkin isn’t a huge fan of solid foods, so we’ve been working hard to encourage more eating…but it’s been a SLOG.

Today, I’m finishing up laundry and getting some of the Pumpkin messes picked up (he likes to scatter toys like seeds across the house). I’ve also had to order some new bathroom rugs (after some miscommunications with Iggy) and get Cadet’s room back to an orderly state (Pumpkin has been thrilled to be able to play in there unimpeded).

My traveling men get back pretty early tomorrow and I just can’t wait to have them home. The house has been so quiet and empty. I miss them so much.

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Late last week, Liz (a mommy friend) and I attempted to take our children out of town for a night to a local vacation spot. It was a lot of work to get the plan together, pack, and get out of town…but we had fun…until night time. For me, it was a night from hell. Pumpkin, who hasn’t slept anywhere but his own crib for most of his life, was up EVERY HOUR crying (although I was sleeping with him). He wouldn’t settle down and I could do very little to soothe him. I think it was the combination of a new place, new experiences, and no familiar sounds (which he is very attuned to). Basically I got 1-2 hours of sleep that night. When I woke up, my right hand was swollen so much I had to struggle to get my ring off. My feet were also a bit swollen. Now, generally speaking, this isn’t a huge issue…but with AIH…it can be. So, I naturally freaked out. And, instead of having a day of fun on the ocean…we spent it driving home…and I tried not to worry about going to the hospital again.

Liz, being the insanely flexible and kind person she is, actually watched Pumpkin for a few hours so I could try to nap. The swelling in my hands and feet did go down, but I am still struggling to catch up on sleep from that night.

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My first night alone with Pumpkin, AE came over for the night. We had a GREAT time. We sat on the couch after Pumpkin went to sleep and talked for hours. Just hours of being together and chatting. I can’t tell you how much that calmed me down and got me in a good place for the rest of the week.

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Easter was very low-key here. Pumpkin and I paid a visit to Grams. While there, we also saw an aunt and uncle. It was great to spend time with family. We then came home and had an early night. Back in the Midwest, Cadet had fun at a church egg hunt, ate lots of candy, and played with his cousins…so it was a success.

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And, in between everything, I’ve had some time for journaling and collaging. I’ve even had some time to work on our family budget and get some (minimal) gardening done.

I hope you all are well. What have you been up to over the last week?

 

Categories: Cadet, Celebrations, Family, McRuger, Pumpkin | 5 Comments

Enjoying Normal…

It’s kind of funny how normalized my weekly blood draws have become. They know me at the lab (I found a lab only about 15 minutes from my house, instead of 35). Check-in is quick. I have my results within the hour…if not sooner (today it was less than 45 minutes).

But, the days before my blood draw (because these days, I have to schedule it so I can keep sane), my anxiety ticks up a few notches. What if my numbers are spiking? What if that twinge I felt was another part of my liver dying ? Should I re-pack my hospital bag? And yes, I have a hospital bag ready to go…packed with the things I know I’d need/want if I have to be re-admitted. But, no matter what, I don’t miss a draw. I force myself, even if I’m really anxious. I just go. Because I can’t ignore it.

Cadet “helps” with blood draws. He goes into the lab with me (Pumpkin is either with McRuger or Iggy or the new sitter). He points out which arm is better for drawing blood (my left). He tells the technician where to find my veins on my arm. And sometimes even helps them “feel the vein”. Often, the techs give him gloves and make him feel important and special. He wears those gloves for as long as he can, and will spend the next few hours showing people how to find mama’s veins. On days when the techs have a hard time finding a good poke, he can tell them my “alternate” spots (that’s what he is showing the parking attendant in the picture…).IMG_4338 And finally, he always picks the color of my bandage. I’m so impressed with how the techs have handled it. I know it’s a bit of an inconvenience to have a 4.5 year old in the room (because Cadet isn’t the quietest of kids). But, it helps Cadet feel normal about the whole experience, and he doesn’t worry about mama so much. And, I think he gets a sense of pride from helping everyone out! I’m proud of how much he focuses when he’s helping! It’s amazing!

Today’s blood results are as close to “normal” as I have been in a very long time. In fact, all of my blood values are either “normal” or within 2-3 points of being normal. That’s a big deal in the world of my liver. My next meeting with Dr. A is next week, and I’m sure he’ll be pleased with the results.

In other news, it is a beautiful spring day here. I mailed off MsV’s Easter package…coloring books, sidewalk chalk, and candy for her kids, a photo book of Pumpkin for her (plus a lot of chocolate). I mailed Cadet’s Easter basket to MIL’s house, so it will be ready for him when he’s there. Pumpkin’s Easter basket is ready to be boxed and transported to the farm.

Today, I had lots of help. Both Iggy and the new sitter were here getting stuff done. Iggy cleaned, as the sitter watched the kiddos. I ran errands, and even got some time to myself. I ordered pizza for everyone, and even had a piece myself. Tonight, I head out to the huge kids consignment sale in my area. McRuger, being his generous self, is letting me have the night off from dinner/bedtime duty. It will be a nice change of pace. I’m hitting the sale with a few friends. I’m looking forward to it. My goal is to outfit the boys for Spring/Summer for under $75….we will see if it happens.

What are you up to on this glorious day? How are you celebrating “normal”?

 

Categories: Anxiety/Worry, Cadet, doctors, Family, Liver | 4 Comments

Microblog Monday

Rough nights. Tired kids. Migraines. But…but…but…

Life isn’t all that bad.

  • My yoga instructor will be here in 30 minutes.
  • There’s a great kid’s consignment sale I’m going to this week.
  • McRuger and I are in a good place.
  • I’m munching on some wonderful, fresh pineapple.
  • I’m getting my hair trimmed on Saturday.
  • Grocery shopping for the week is done.
  • McRuger did the dishes.
  • I have some awesome homeschool lessons scheduled for this week.
  • I’m really enjoying some new-to-me books on homeschool and housekeeping.

 

Microblog_Mondays

Not sure what MicroBlog Mondays is all about…go here to check it out!!

Categories: Family, Homeschool, Household, Marriage, McRuger | 9 Comments

The late shift…

After a few bad nights of sleep for both McRuger and myself, I convinced McRuger to let me take the first night shift for Pumpkin’s bottle. It’s the first since January, and it’s odd to be awake in the house while everyone else sleeps. It’s SOOOOO quiet!

When McRuger asked me what I was going to do with my time, I told him I was just going to blog, putz around on FB, and do some reading. And here I am! YAY.

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Today was a good day. I left the house with Cadet (Pumpkin and McRuger stayed at home) around 9:30 and headed to the mountains for a hike with some friends. L is a local mama who I met through some FB groups we were both part of. For the last several months, we’ve been getting together for hikes, walks, playdates… her son (D) is about 18 months younger than Cadet. We have an absolutely great time together. We have many similar interests (as do our husbands) and can talk about anything…and we make each other laugh. She’s become a close friend in these last months. One thing we both enjoy is being out in nature…no matter what the weather.

So today, despite the rain, we headed out for a great hike along a local creek. We had a blast. Cadet got soaking wet, played in every mud puddle, creek bank, and sandy spot he could find. Cadet ran down muddy slopes, balanced on logs, threw rocks in the creek, and “found gold” (pyrite). L and I took tons of photos of the boys, mushrooms, slugs, and interesting root formations. We have a mutual love of photography, and nature.

We got astonishingly wet. Cadet’s boots had about 2 cups of water in them when I changed his clothes in the parking lot. I had a smile on my face the entire time we were hiking. It reminded me of being a kid…not caring about the weather, just enjoying being outside.

Coming home, I just couldn’t stop smiling. What a great way to spend the day. Wild surges of energy just seemed to course through my body. It was a healing day. I can’t wait for more!

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Speaking of healing, my latest blood tests came back and things are looking good. I’m very close to “normal” on several values, and a few have crossed over into the “normal” territory. My blood clotting factors are still running a bit long (and holding steady there), but they are still only a few ticks above what they should be…nothing like what I was seeing at the hospital. My protein and albumen levels are low-ish, but not scary-low.

I’ll see Dr.A in about a week for my monthly check-in. I have a whole boat-load of questions for him…mostly about what is/isn’t allowed for AIH patients. I’ll be traveling to the farm for Easter, so I have questions about that. In reality, I’ll only be gone for 4 nights and I’ll only be 6 hours away from the hospital…but I’m a little nervous about being out of range of some awesome healthcare professionals. It’s funny, because I usually go 6-7 days between blood draws…but it’s just another step towards “normal life”.

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The boys are doing pretty well these days. Sure, we have bad days and good days…but nothing too catastrophic.

Pumpkin is still teething (again? still?), which makes some days harder on him than others. Most of the time, he’s a smiling little bundle of curiosity. He loves to climb (which gives me a heart attack), and copy everything Cadet does. I love watching them play together. He recently had a check-up with Dr.Smiles, and Pumpkin is right on track for everything. He needs to be eating more solid foods (still a fight with him), but everything else is fine. He weighs just over 25 lbs and is very tall for his age…his head circumference is over 100% for his age.

Cadet is doing well. Sleep is still really hard for him, and it’s become more of a challenge to help him overcome that. He can still be up for hours in the middle of the night (often waking up Pumpkin…which isn’t good). But, overall, I’m so proud of him most days. He’s really trying to learn to help: with Pumpkin, tasks around the house, school, and just being attentive. Dr.M and I are working on a new theory for some of Cadet’s issues with fine motor skills…we’re thinking he might have problems with visual memory. He often has trouble making his hands do what he knows they need to do…and he gets frustrated by it. Plus, while he has great vision, he often says he can’t “see” something right in front of him…even after scanning several times. So, we’ve been probing that area of his development. I’ve been working on having him “look” for things as we’re out and about…trying to strengthen his visual awareness.

McRuger is worn out. I don’t know how else to put it. He’s just worn. Most days he just looks like he’s barely functioning. Sleep has been a huge issue for him. He’s just not getting enough, and it’s hard to watch. Most of the time, his lack of sleep is stemming from wanting to help me get more sleep…which works only some of the time (because, you know, I’m on steroids…and sleep is tricky for me). He’s pushing hard at work and at home…which means he’s really getting no real down-time. I’ve told him that I want him to start handing more responsibility over to me, but we haven’t agreed on how that looks yet.

So, I guess, things are overall pretty decent here. Sure, it’s not perfect, and the laundry and dishes are never-ending…but it sure could be worse! I hope all is well in your world! And while I may not be writing often…I am doing a ton of reading, and enjoy hearing about how your lives are going!!

 

Categories: Family | 2 Comments

Falling off the wagon.

For the last two weeks, I’ve been more lax about my diet and orders from Dr.A…and I realized earlier this week that I’ve fallen “off the wagon” in several respects. When I realized that, I kind of freaked out. I can’t afford to do that. I really can’t…on so many levels. And, I’m pissed at myself.

  • I ate a cookie…like from a bakery. A snickerdoodle. OMG, it tasted amazing. I don’t know why I bought and ate the cookie…but I did. I went in to pick up a treat for McRuger (who is having a rough week), and walked out…stuffing a cookie in my mouth. I was so ashamed of myself when I was done. Then, I ate part of a cupcake two days later. I was seriously having sugar withdrawals…shaking almost. It was odd. Now (3 days after the initial cookie), it’s all I can do to not stuff every sugary thing into my mouth. I have to eliminate refined sugars and flours all over again…all of it. I’m pretty sure I got a really bad migraine from all that sugar. So, no more. This includes eating more veggies and less fruit.
  • I had bacon with lunch the other day. It’s not good for me. In the moment, I justified it as “protein”…but it was just fatty, salty goodness. I knew better…but I didn’t stop myself. Not good.
  • I haven’t been resting when I can, and I haven’t been sleeping as much as I should. These two things are huge. I can feel that some days my exhaustion is almost too much to take. I know that if I were eating correctly and resting, the exhaustion wouldn’t be such an issue. At night, all I want to do is read or craft…but I need to put my stuff down and sleep. And, during the day, I need to take time to sit down and do nothingEven if the boys are destroying the living room or taking apart every laundry pile I’ve just folded. I need to rest.
  • While I’ve been doing weekly yoga, I need to be getting out and walking more. I’ve done some hiking with friends and some casual strolls around the neighborhood, but nothing too intentional.

Despite my slip-ups, my lab work came back really good. I am getting really close to “normal” on several results and everything is slowly heading in the right direction. Nothing in my labs is considered “urgent” anymore. And, one value is actually at normal! Which is huge!! My doctor is just releasing my lab work (instead of texting or calling), so I can look at it on my own (with the promise that I won’t freak out if one or two numbers aren’t “perfect”).

I’ve also been taking my glucose levels on a regular basis. I’m not sure what my doctors are looking for, but everything has been normal (nothing above or below expected ranges). I’ll show the results to Dr.A when I see him next, and ask him if I really need to continue testing.

So, there is my confession for Thursday.

 

 

Categories: doctors, health, Liver | 4 Comments

Just some thoughts after the weekend…

Wow, what a week.

  • I’d forgotten how into EVERYTHING toddlers can get. Pumpkin is never still, always climbing, always pulling things down, always putting something into his mouth, always trying something new. It can be exhausting. Thankfully, Cadet has a pretty good handle on what’s allowed for Pumpkin and what isn’t…so I have 1.5 sets of eyes (which is very good on some days).
  • Pumpkin is also teething…looks to be 4 teeth coming in, so he’s pretty miserable. Lots of wanting to be picked up and then put down…and then screaming…for something…anything else. I try to keep him happy and distracted, which often doesn’t work. Thankfully, ibuprofen seems to help at night, so we can get some sleep.
  • One of my lovely children (Cadet, I think) put a whole head of purple cabbage into the laundry bin (I’m a little fuzzy on when this happened…). I literally caught it as it was tumbling into the washer. I just had to laugh and shake my head. I have no idea what a whole head of purple cabbage would have done to my load of laundry…but I’m pretty sure something would have happened.
  • Cadet had two weeks of awfulness. Sheer horribleness with near-constant tantrums and melt-downs. It was exhausting for everyone, Cadet especially. We’re not exactly sure what caused it, but things are much better now (although we’re still having a few rough days). Today was a rough day…
  • Homeschooling lessons are continuing at bit of a slow rate. We’re focusing on giving Cadet concrete tasks he can complete and feel good about himself. His OT sees us once a week for 30 minutes. We’ve both been noticing an increase in Cadet’s anxiety when he can’t complete a task as we’ve asked him to…so, hence the concrete tasks. Also, as always, doing fine-motor work. We do lots of reading, looking at pictures, and even have a few iPad games which make learning a little more dynamic on very slow/tired days.
  • Last Thursday, I saw my PCP (primary care physician) for the first time since my admittance to the hospital. She’s called several times to check up on me, but I wanted to check in with her…in person about a few things. It was nice to catch up and have her review my numbers and progress. She’s quite amazed at how far my numbers have dropped and how close to “normal” several of them are. We talked about some hypoglycemia issues I’ve been having and how to monitor that (I get a glucose meter, yay?!?). Apparently, my medications can seriously mess with my blood sugar levels (something that no one has bothered to mention to me until this point….). And, even though I have been being monitored for diabetes, I have never had an issue with blood sugar being out-of-whack. Hypoglycemia does run in my family, so it’s something else we are now monitoring. Today my glucose monitor came…I tried it out. Yeah, nothing like stabbing yourself with a little needle to make the day more interesting.
  • McRuger and I hit up a local library book sale on Sunday and picked up a huge bag (for only $5) of old art books that we’ll be using for collages and art projects for the boys. I’m really excited to start some art journaling projects with Cadet.
  • Also, on Sunday, McRuger and I saw Deadpool (which I wasn’t a huge fan of…and knitted through most of it…yes, I can knit in the dark). And then, on a whim hit the book sale and a local museum.
  • In order to control the chaos of toys (because Pumpkin wants everything within reach at all times, or he screams), we’ve instituted a new system. We have 4 smallish baskets of toys. Only ONE is allowed on the ground at any given time, and those toys must be picked up before more toys are allowed to be brought out. It’s helped immensely. The only exception to this is in Cadet’s room, where he’s allowed to have his trains out anytime he wants (unless they’ve been taken away for one reason or another).
  • McRuger and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch in our marriage. We’re not communicating very well, and it’s been hard. We’re working on it, but it’s tough at times. And, money/budgeting has been a challenge for us over the the past few months, which has increased the tension.
  • Communication with MsV and MsJ has been hit or miss for various reasons. MsV has a new beau and she’s been getting out a bit more. MsJ was (briefly) back in jail, but should be released this week. Both of them know about my recent health issues. It scared MsV, but I’ve kept her (and MsJ) in the loop with everything, so they know that things are generally under control.
  • Easter plans have come together and tickets are purchased. Cadet and McRuger will be traveling to see McRuger’s family in the Midwest, and I’ll be joining my family at the farm…and we’ll be hiring a house/dog sitter. The plan was basically conceived as a way to get Cadet some time with his cousins/extended family, and allowing McRuger some time to decompress from the stresses of being “on” all the time. And, it allows me to get my normal blood draws and not travel (can’t be stressing out my liver with the kind of cooking my MIL whips up…or airport food in general).
  • Something I’ve been doing for myself since my diagnosis is I’ve hired a private yoga instructor. OMG ya’ll, once a week, I get an hour of yoga in my living room. It’s awesome. I can’t even tell you. Generally, the time corresponds with when Iggy or the new sitter are here…so they take the boys on a walk. While my instructor is here, I can just breathe and focus on my body. It’s such a luxury.

Well, it’s almost 10:30 on a Monday night. I really should be heading to bed. Night all!

 

Categories: Cadet, Family, Homeschool, Household, Marriage, McRuger, money, Pumpkin | 2 Comments

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