On mortality.

I was shocked when I heard the news about Newtown. I was putting Cadet down for a nap, and just caught a few headlines on the radio. I rocked him for an extra long time. I had a ton of cleaning to do once he was down, so I didn’t turn on the TV or the radio again. Instead, I listened to music and got my stuff done (most of it, anyway). When I finally had a moment to sit down, I opened up my computer and read what I could. Personally, I stay away from TV during stuff like this, I find the coverage to be overpowering.

I simply can’t imagine the sadness, the despair, and the hurt that this shooting has caused. Tragedy is the right word, no doubt. I can’t fathom what possessed this man to shoot at children…at innocents, but he did.

Then I looked at face.book…and I was saddened on a different level. Not 8 hours after the shooting, “friends” of mine were starting to place blame: poor gun laws, not enough mental health support, lack of prayer in school, not enough school funding, and so on…. Someone even had the gall to compare the shootings to abortions…asking if us “pro-choicers” would feel more comfortable if the doctors used guns to perform abortions.

I thought that tragedy was supposed to bring out the best in everyone? That we are supposed to come together and comfort each other…instead, people were tearing each other down.

Instead of engaging in the “great debate” on face.book, I posted a snippet of a poem:

Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and right doing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, and the phrase “each other”
doesn’t make any sense.

-Jelaluddin Rumi

I am honestly ashamed to call some of these people on face.book my friends and have considered dropping a few people if they continue in their rants.


Right now, I am full of anxiety. Thinking about my own mortality and the mortality of those around me. I’m keyed up and full of nervous energy. And even though it’s 2:13am, Cadet is still awake…bouncing in his crib. McRuger, Dad, and Mom are all snoozing…and yet, Cadet and I are up…ready to face the world. Some days, nothing makes sense.


My thoughts, prayers, and best wishes go out to those who have been impacted by the shootings. And I hope that the debates that will surely follow will be constructive and positive.

Categories: Anxiety/Worry | Leave a comment

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